As you mentioned,  your need for appreciation wasn't met. What was your reaction or response in this situation with your colleague? Remember, we've already discussed the emotion, so now we're focusing on what you did or felt inclined to do as a result of feeling unappreciated.

I shut myself off and hoped it would soon be over…

Now, let's delve a bit deeper into your thoughts patterns to better understand the behavior triggered by the remark of your colleague. Reflecting on this situation, which of these assumptions about what your colleague might be thinking seems most relevant to you?
- ⁠They don't value my work.
- They think my ideas are unimportant.
- They see me as less productive

Select the one that feels closest to your thoughts, or describe your own assumption.

They don't listen to my suggestions.

You have the ability to transform the need for recognition into a path of self-assurance, where you validate your own authority internally, rather than seeking it externally. By shifting your focus from what you believe your colleague thinks of you to how you can meet your own needs, you empower yourself. You can choose to respond to situations with confidence and composure, knowing that your value and authority come from within.

Does this perspective resonate with you?

It does! When I get insecure about what other think about my contributions I tend to make all sorts of assumptions about what they might think.